Hiroko’s Diary

今日は子供が幼稚園に行っている間にデパートに行って洋服を買ってきました。

I went to a department store to buy clothes for me while my son was at kindergarten.

前から欲しかった長袖の白シャツと、何とワンピースを買ってしまいました。

I bought a white shirt and surprisingly, I got a one-piece dress.

ワンピースなんてよく考えてみると前買ったのは１０年以上昔！

Looking back, last time I bought a one-piece was more than ten years ago.  Wow!

これを着て海外でバカンス！なんて夢みたいなことを考えながら足取りも軽く紀伊国屋へ。

Dreaming that I spend a vacance wearng this in a foreign country, I went to Kinokuniya book store.

月に１度友達と英語の勉強会をしていて次回の課題がジョン・スタインベックの「怒りの葡萄」なのでそれを買いました。

I participate in an English studying group once a month and next assignment is “The Grapes of Wrath” by John Steinbeck, famous American writer.  So, I bought a book in Japanese translation.

文学作品は英語が難しく１ページを読むのにかなりの時間を費やします。

English in literature is very difficult and it took me a long time to read just only 1 page.

でも、普段使われている英語ではなく聞いていてそして読んで耳に、心に気持ちが良い、という点から私は文学作品が大好きです。

However, I like literature a lot because those English provide me with a great feeling to both my ears and my heart.

今日買った本は、最初に日本語訳を読んでしまうと勉強にならないので、課題となっている箇所以外から読み始めようと思います。

I’ll read the book skipping the part of the assignment because it doesn’t mean anything if I read the part in Japanese first before reading it in English.

今日は天気もよく素敵な午前を過ごすことができ、感謝です。

The weather was fine and I was able to spend a precious time in the morning.  I really thank God and everyone around me.

以前ブログに「英検１級を今年の目標に！」と書きましたが、その難しさをしみじみと実感している今日この頃です。

I posted in this blog before that I set a goal to pass the 1st grade of English proficiency test called “Eiken”, but I’ve come to notice the difficulty or rather I should prolong the preparation period.

英検１級対策講座も後１回を残すのみとなりました。今回受講して一番良かったことは自分の足りない部分がはっきりとわかり今後の対策が具体化したことです。

There is only one more lesson left in Eiken course.   The very thing that I feel most appreciate is that I found my weekpoint.   Consequently, I’ve come to perceive how to achieve the goal.

ボキャブラリーももちろんまだまだ足りないのですが、それ以上に大きな問題が・・・

I need to improve my vocaulary but moreover there is a big problem about my English.

それは「エッセイ」です。いかに理論的に説得力のある文章を書き、それをスピーチできるか！

That’s writing a theoretically persuasive essay.   Not only writing, a speech is required in the second stage of the test.

日本人は自分の考えを筋道立てて話すことが苦手だと言われていますが私も例外ではありません。

It is often said that Japanese people are not good arguing and I’m not  an exception.

今回の英検対策講座でも毎回エッセイの宿題があるのですがなかなか満足する文章が書けません。背景知識も不十分な上に、それを力強い説得力のある文章にするのは私にとっては至難の業です。

Writing an essay per week is one of the assignments in the Eiken course, and I make every effort to accomplish it.  But everytime I end up writing an insufficient one.  

というわけで、英検１級取得は私の今年の目標ではなく生涯の目標のうちの１つにしたいと思います。

For this reason, I changed my mind.   ”I set a goal to pass the test not this year, but in my life.”

今週の水曜日と木曜日、実家に子供と一緒に帰ってきました。

I went back to my hometown with my children on Thursday this week.  I stayed one night.

私の祖父が長く入院していて容体が悪くなったという知らせを聞いて病院に行ってきました。

My grandfather has been in the hospital for a long time.   On Monday  my mother called me to inform that his condition got worse.   So I went to the hospital to see him.

田舎の病院は決してきれいでもなく、部屋も限られたスペースの中で５人の患者が押し込まれていました。

The hospital in the countryside is far from comfortable and he was one of the 5 patients in a very small room.

最初はどの人がおじいちゃんか全くわかりませんでした。

At first, I didn’t recognize which person was my grandfather.

母に教えられておじいちゃんだとわかったとたん、涙が溢れてきて声をかけることもできませんでした。

As soon as I recognized him after my mother pointing to him, I couldn’t stop crying and couldn’t say any words to him.

口には大きなチューブがはめられ元気だったころのおじいちゃんの面影は全くありませんでした。

A big tube was put into his mouth.  The person in the bed was completely different from the image of my grandfather who was always vigorous.

同室の他の４人の患者さんもほぼ同じような状態でした。

The other four patients’ condition were almost the same as my grandfather’s.

私はその光景を見るのが辛く、涙が後から後からあふれてきて人は簡単には死ぬことができないんだなあと実感しました。

It was painful for me to see those people and tears continuously ran down on my cheek.   I couldn’t help thinking human beings can not die easily. 

人は生まれた時は周囲の人に祝福され、おむつも喜んで替えてもらえるのに年老いて同じようにおむつを替えてもらわなければならなくなると、疎んじられることが多いですよね。

When we are born, we are celebrated and are exchanged a diaper with pleasure, however when we get old and can not move by ourselves, people around us feel unwilling to change a diaper.

それを考えると切なくて、吹田に帰ってきてからも私を悩まし続けています。生きることも死ぬことも決して楽なことではない、ということをあらためて考えさせられました。

Thinking that keeps me obsessed with the heartrending sorrow.   Both to live and to die are not easy things.

今日から日本語と英語の両方でブログを書いていこうと思います。

I’m going to write articles both in Japanese and English from now on.

というのは、せっかくブログをつけていても、（これまでに何と８０を超えていました；びっくり！）お友達に読んでもらえずコメントも少ないのでこの方法に切り替えました。

I’ve written more than 80 articles so far, but unfortunately since there are few who read English among my friends and even for them who read English, it’a little bit hard to continue reading, the number of comments I got is also a few.    That’s why I decided to change to this way.

書き始めて思っていることは、この方法は案外時間がかかって大変！

While writing this, I think this way is more difficult than I expected!!!!

去年の末に、デジカメを買いました。前に持っていたものはとっても古くて、本当にいつ買ったかわからないくらい。今のデジカメって凄いですね。まあ、そんなこんなで私の殺風景なブログにもようやく写真を載せることができました。

I　bought a digital camera at the end of the last year.   The one I had before was very old and I don’t even remember when I bought it.   Digital cameras these days are wonderful, aren’t they?   So, I could finally put pictures on my blog.

まだまだ使い方がわからなくて写真を綺麗にのせられないのですが、何とか続けて今自分が思っていることを綴っていきますね。

I still don’t understand 100% how to put pictures, but I’m going to continue to express what I think on this blog.

コメント、いっぱい待ってます。

I’m waiting for your  comments.

Today is a Coming-of-Age Day.  I saw several girls wearing beautiful Kimonos this morning.   Each of the girls seemed to be happy and contented with themselves.  I recalled of the day when I joined in the coming-of-age ceremony 18 years ago.   My mother prepared a beautiful “Furisode”, a long sleeve Kimono, which many girls wear on that day.   I was so happy and proud of wearing it.  At that time, I didn’t have anything afraid.  I believed that I could do anything that I wanted.  I was too young to think of many hardships in the future.  

In 18 years, I got a job, got married, experienced a few surgery, and gave birth twice.   And now, I’m so happy just to be healthy.   Long time ago, my mother used to say that be normal is the most difficult thing.   When I heard that, I looked down on her a little bit.   I thought that I would want to be talented, better than others.   But now, I can understand her from the bottom of my heart.  

Today, I went to a clinic to take a medical check.  I had my stomach examined with a fiberscope.  Before I took the examination, I was told by a nurse that there would be no pain at all.   However, I felt pain and it was hard to me.  Still now, I have a sore throat.   The result was not something I need to worry.   Medical checks are something I need to take, but not not something I want to do with pleasure.

I went to church today.  I went there alone, I mean I usually go there with my children but today, my husband told me that he could take them to an aquarium so I asked him whether I could go to church and he said “No problem!”.

I participated in “Joy and Happy meeting” after the worship.  Most of the participants are 60’s and 70’s.   First, one woman who is 90 years old expained the church history and how she spent her childhood.   She has overcome various difficulties.    After that, a newly married couple explained how they became christian.  They also played the piano and the guitar and sang several songs including their original musics.   The meeting was wonderful. 

After that, I participated in “English luch time” for the first time.  I really had wonderful time talking to people there.   As I wrote in my blog, I’m a buddhist and I go to church if I have time.  Being in the church makes me relaxed now though it was quite painful to me about two years ago when I first visited the church.

Still now I have many questions about the difference between Christianity and Buddhism.   So I will continue to go to church to make it clear in my head. 

I don’t know why but sometimes the blog I’d just finished writing didn’t come up to the website.   It’s really disappointing and since it takes me considerable time using brain to full extent to write one article,  it’s quite hard to try writing the same context again.  

Anyway, I went to see a “Batou-kin” concert the other day.   “Batou-kin” looks like a Japanese “Shamisen”, which has three stringes , but it has two stringes.   It was held at an elementary shool near my house.   Two Mongolian players and one Japanese cordinator came to the school.   The tone and the players’ technique were exquisite.   Before the concert began, the cordinator used pc to explain about Mongolia from the point of historical and geografical view.   Compared to Japan, It is not comfortable environment climatically in Mongolia.   But the sky was very beautiful and the blue was much deeper.   And A limitless plateau on the screen gave me  peace of a heart. 

  From the 1st grade to the 6the grade, about 300 students  and several members of PTA gathered at a gymnasium.    There were about 8 musics.   One of them, there was a song about yearning for a hometown.   Historically, people in Mongolia and Kazakhstan have experienced being pursued their mother countries therefore, they have strong feeling toward their own countries.   I couldn’t stop crying listening the music.   While I was listening their musics, I looked back on my past for 30 something years.   At that moment, I was so happy being healthy and being able to listen such a wonderful music, but at the same time, I was a little bit afraid thinking that this happiness wouldn’t continue so long.   And also,  I felt bad because while my husband doesn’t have time to do what he wants to do and he is always tired,  only myself could have time.   So, I prayed God for my husband and my children to be healthy.

We had lunch together with two players and the cordinator after the concert.   I was so happy talking with them.   I got a strong message to live and raise my children.   I have to go now.  I’ll write a continuance in next blog.

Do you like a rainy day?    I don’t.   One of the biggest reasons is that I can’t dry washed clothes outside.   I have to hang that washed ones on several lintels at home.   Moreover, a rainy day makes me depressed.   On a day like today, I can’t help appreciating the sun.  

But for some reason, I used to like rainy days about ten years ago.   At that time, I would feel that the sound of rain made my mind settled and it sounded as if I could rest all day long.    Looking back, I was so busy working outside in those days.   

Now, though I’m busy raising children, I’m healthy both mentally and physically.   That’s why I yearn for the sun.

My husband bought a new computer the other day.   We had used the old one for almost 7 years.   With the old one, I couldn’t record a CD to the computer.   But with this new one, I can do it instanly.  I can also watch a DVD and T.V.   I just can’t help admiring what these day’s computers can do.